I am alone tonight. Everyone is busy with various things. I am so very lonely. I miss my fiance especially. Today was such a forced day, I forced myself to act happy and all that shit. Now I just feel like crying. I am just sitting here listening to sad songs. I know I should call a friend or something, talk to someone. But I really can't be bothered, there's no energy left inside me. I used it all up today. I think people underestimate the level of concentration required to not be miserable all the time. Trying to find that motivation is near impossible for me on some days. I literally couldn't get out of bed the other day. I spent all day sleeping, I just couldn't face the world.
I just wanted to spend time with my friend tonight. I wanted to go out and have a few drinks. I'm half tempted to just go out on my own, but where's the fun in that? Who am I going to talk to? Laugh with? No one. That's who. I can't even be bothered playing games on the Wii or anything. Maybe I should just go to bed and end my misery, that is until I wake up tomorrow morning and it starts all over again.
I suppose I better go see my psychiatrist soon.
And the place where they inserted the implanon is sooo itchy. I want to rip it out of my arm. But it's just itchy 'cause it's healing. Still annoying though.
Complain. Complain. Complain. I should just shut my hole. No one reads this bullshit anyway. And for good reason.
I want someone to be with me, to distract me from this pain. I want my Damo. *sigh* but he's not coming back until some god forsaken hour. He's gone fishing with my dad... They never ask me if I want to go anymore. Despite the fact that I used to love it. Is it because I'm a girl? *sigh* who cares anymore.
Well enough of this shit. I'm going to bed or something.